"use client"; import { useMemo, useState } from "react"; import ThemedLayout from "@/components/layouts/ThemedLayout"; import { useWallet } from "@/contexts/WalletContext"; type MixLog = { id: string; text: string }; function id() { return Math.random().toString(16).slice(2, 10).toUpperCase(); } export default function MixerPage() { const { isConnected, luxCredits, spendLuxCredits, setVaultFlag, addVaultReceipt } = useWallet(); const [amount, setAmount] = useState(500); const [hops, setHops] = useState(3); const [noise, setNoise] = useState(65); const [log, setLog] = useState([]); const fee = useMemo(() => { const base = Math.floor(amount * 0.04); const hopFee = hops * 25; const noiseFee = Math.floor(noise * 2); return base + hopFee + noiseFee; }, [amount, hops, noise]); const total = amount + fee; const push = (text: string) => setLog((l) => [{ id: id(), text }, ...l].slice(0, 10)); return (

COIN BLENDER

All the bells, all the whistles, zero real-world functionality.

Parody simulator: this does not mix real crypto, does not provide laundering tools, and never accepts deposits. It only burns your in-game LUX credits in a dramatic way.

available
{luxCredits.toLocaleString()} LUX
{isConnected ? "Wallet connected (mock)" : "Connect wallet to enable the blender"}
Amount (LUX)
setAmount(parseInt(e.target.value, 10))} className="w-full" disabled={!isConnected} />
{amount.toLocaleString()} LUX
Route hops
{[1, 2, 3, 4, 5].map((n) => ( ))}
Plausible deniability noise
setNoise(parseInt(e.target.value, 10))} className="w-full" disabled={!isConnected} />
{noise}% nonsense
Receipt
Blend amount {amount.toLocaleString()} LUX
Obfuscation fee {fee.toLocaleString()} LUX
Total burn {total.toLocaleString()} LUX
Advanced features: onion routing animation, entropy fog, decoy receipts, and a fake compliance dashboard. The only real output is regret.
Console
{log.length === 0 ? (
No sessions yet. The blender is bored.
) : ( log.map((e) => (
{e.text}
)) )}
); }